To start off I was really scared of this book....Like REALLLY scared. I know you are all like ummm...why? *sighs* Ok well I am NOT a huge fan of old men with younger women...it grosses me out. Like.....
I don't understand the attraction. I know I know I am a HUGE pussy when it comes to this but I can't help how I feel....probably why I married a waaay younger man. Old stinky, droopy grey balls do nothing for me. Ok, so that is my backround and I swear when I told the hubs why I so scared to read this (because I say I don't judge but ya know what? Fuck that I am a judger! I judged this book solely because I knew Deuce was an old man and Eva was like a baby in comparison.)
He told me this, "Hunny there are so many women and little girls that fall in love with older men, I know its not your thing but why miss out on a great story because of your judgements?" like whoa when did he get so damn smart???
Then my friends (bloggers) all told me to basically suck it the fuck up, grab my chonies and read the mother effing book! Talk about harsh....so I did what I do and thats AVOID IT LIKE THE PLAUGE! yep that's me. I needed to mentally prepare. SERIOUSLY the thought of an older man and a young chick....
Ok so now you all know I am crazy but at least I can admit it. So, a friend Mags, starts reading it and is like OMG its so good...(heard it like a zillion times) so I said fuck it and dove in. So here goes my review....
While I am still reeling from this book and mind you it has been at least a week since I finished, I really had to marinade. Like I sat here literally like ummmmm WOW! and then EWWWWW so gross. I know most ppl are like at least at the end the age isn't so bad WRONG WRONG WRONG. WTF??? I am almost the age of Eva (at the end of the book) and I could NEVER be with a man that's in his 50's that just makes my vagina want to close up and never open again until it is kissed by a man who is in his late 20's seriously! Ok ok ok I will stop with the age thing. Alight on to the book. Madeline has really screwed with my head. Since I mentally prepared for it, but nooooo we open up with 5yr old Eva meeting 23yr old Deuce. I was like omg that is soooo disgusting, whatever I kept forging ahead and the more I read the more I swear my tweets and voxer rants kind of went like this WHAT THE MOTHER FUCK!!....OH HOLY SHIT!! TELL ME THAT DIDNT HAPPEN.....WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER FUCKING DAD??......WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE??.....OMG I AM NEVER LETTING MY DAUGHTER OUT OF MY SIGHT!!....CAN ANYONE HELP ME??...my friends in voxer just laughed and told me oh keep reading, were they serious? this book was like one of those train wrecks that you see happening but you can't avert your eyes because if you do you will miss the gruesome ending!
I was so into this damn book that I didnt even care that Eva and Deuce ummmmm hmmmm do shit when she is 16. Ok fuck that I cared. I was telling my friends I CAN NOT BEEELIEVE you all thought this was ok for me to read!!!
I tell my hubby and he was like "Sweetie how many of your friends dated marines that were 23/24 when they were 16?" Ummm ok true but even then I was like that is nasty!
Alright I can say this, they didn't actually do the deed until she was of age so that won Deuce back like a point, and don't even get me started on where the sex took place becuz WTF? but then I think about it and I am like fuck that is kinda hot. I mean not ideal what so ever but can you imagine being that worked up? Like I said not my ideal but I dealt with it. As the story progressed I was engrossed DEEP in this biker world. I swear I only came up for air to tweet or voxer when I was soooo pissed. As Eva gets older she makes decisions and does things because well she grew up in this biker world. I was SO PISSED to find out she was with Frankie. OMG and her fucking dad! That asshole. I was like this is your baby girl you don't let her end up with a psycho, you freaking moron.
Ok, Biker world not my world. Well I do get to meet Cox and Ripper and I was like oh, yeah maybe the biker world isn't so bad and I would totes be Kami except for the whole being married to that crazy dude, cuz no! Whew...alright so Eva Eva Eva...ok initially I am turned off by the whole age thing and then her with Frankie (I will not get into that because we will be here for days) and then her doing what she did to help Frankie. As I sit here and I think more and more about her and her backstory and the way she grew up I can see why. I guess when your basically the only girl in this biker world you are going to do things that are your truth and find a way to navigate through it as best you can. I loathed Frankie like to my soul I wanted to cut his dick off and shove it up his ass for what he did to Eva. I wanted to cry for Eva, excepting what was her fate even though she didn't want it because she knew that is what her dad wanted. I was in agony watching her do things for Frankie she otherwise wouldn't and thinking it was okay. My heart broke as I read the way that Deuce really loved her from his soul. I was pissed when Deuce finally had her and treated her like she was just another whore in the biker world. I had so many emotions. I just didn't know what to do. So I kept reading because I needed to see for myself that this was ok.
Deuce! Oh man. I don't even know where to start with him. AND WHAT THE HELL why do women get all OH DEUCE??? am I missing something? did I read the same book? Firstly, I can not fathom ever being with a dude that I know openly cheats on me! and does things that is not normal. I like bad boys, I do! but, old biker dudes ah I pass. I can say though that I appreciated the way he loved Eva, unconditionally. He was there to always help her and his love for her was more than lust. I didn't get it (and really I still kind of don't cuz that was like pedo shit just saying) but I could appreciate the story and the way Madeline laid it all out for me. It was not pretty, it was not predictable, it was grimy and dirty, gritty and heart wrenching. I felt like I was back in Compton amongst the street gangs I grew up with. That is real and it was raw and I abso-fucking-loutly LOVED every damn minute of it. I fell so hard that at times I forgot that Deuce was a grampa (ok he wasn't but whatever) and the age difference. Except IDK Madeline kept fucking rubbing it in my face. She literally served it up on a platter and was like "here bitch eat this shit and swallow it the fuck down". You want to know what I did? I willingly opened my mouth and let her feed it to me and I SWALLOWED!!! I would be so into the book and then BAM someone just had to say something about the age difference UGH!
Do I recommend this book? FUCKING HELL YEAH I DO!!! I have to say that Madeline Sheehan is now the object of my stalking...errr affection. I loved that this book was real, as in the characters were fucked up, they were not pretty and proper. They did shit that made me cringe. My emotions were raw and instead of soothing me Madeline threw alcohol and made that shit burn! But it burned so good. I am now a glutton for punishment because instead of saying ok that was good I need rainbows and butterflies now NOOOO I am like Damn it I need to read Unbeautifully the next book in this series. (because I am a needy wanty cunt!) I know my reviews are not usually this long but when it brings out all these emotions I have to get them out!
One last thing I LOVE MADELINE!! I love that she didn't write another oh I am a virgin in college and end up with this man who only has eyes for me and loves me and BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT!!! There is no perfect man and no perfect life. I loved that about this book. I do love my romances dont get me wrong but sometimes I need a writer who can evoke the deep dark grittiness of a life I know nothing about and bring it to me in a dark ugly package, that I can love and devour, and that is exactly what this book did!!!!
Now the rating....
I gave this book 10 hearts!! I know I only go up to 5 but its that awesome 5 is not enough!!!! <3 Sandie